it's over

Today was just one of those days. I start to feel overwhelmed, I text him. It's only 10:05am "I'm slowly becoming overwhelmed," I say. But he's working. The next text I get from him is at 3:48pm, "Be home at 5, got a ride." The universe just throws me a hand now and then, and it comes in little less obvious forms sometimes.

I woke up to the sound of #1 busting out of her room at 630ish. The door gets jammed, we should fix that. She dragged her Hannah Montana blanket out with her. Ol' Hannah. Glad we grew out of that phase in one piece. She laid on the couch next to me and #4, sleeping soundly. Out of all the room on the huge couch, she still wants to be next to us.

Within a minute, #2 follows her big sister's trail but veers off in her usual, somewhat obsessive, direction. I hear the familiar sound of a soda can being checked for remaining fluid. "HA, got you," I think to myself. "Get out of the kitchen" I say from the couch in the loud but still not quite yelling voice I have been perfecting. I try to sound as serious and stern as dad, but still hold back in fear of being too harsh over something so innocent, as almost all of their actions are rationalized by me. Or so I hear. "Mama, I'm so starving, I really am, please I can't wait," right on cue. "You'll be okay for a few minutes," I take a lesson from dad, once again. She sits and asks for Scooby-Doo, again.

I lay still until I send #1 off to get ready from my small cocoon that #4 keeps me in. She's like a magnet for snuggles. Just as expected, I soon hear the familiar "Maaama!" coming from #3 because her sister is in the bathroom, which shares a wall with her room. Maybe we should move her crib to the other side. Nah, she'd probably learn to open the window and crawl out. She loves being outside.

My day was beautiful because they were all a part of it. This is another page in my story. I tended to their wounds today, 3 of them have what I call, active wounds. #1 has this bug-bite-gone-awry, #3 busted her chin while standing on a kid's ikea stool apparently reaching for the sky, and #2 found a mark on her body after a long search just so she could get some of my TLC, too. Of course I gave it to her.

Sometimes I have to take a few deep breaths because there are four of them, needing me at once. Not just someone, but me. Attention. I am practicing the art of dividing it, keeping it quality, and enjoying it. This is it. That was my day.

I love them. Tonight they sleep, tomorrow they will wake. We will do a very similar routine, but I will smile at each expected turn.

everything to everyone

We all have those "A-ha!" moments. You know, it happens when we are driving, when we are deep in thought, or even just by hearing someone else say it. All of a sudden a light switch gets turned on and we have this new idea or new perspective on things. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are sad, and sometimes they are life-changing. These are special experiences, no matter where they stem from. It is in these moments that we might be able to actually FEEL ourselves grow. As people, as friends, as partners, as parents, or whatever the case may be.

So, obviously this is leading up to one of my A-ha! moments, right?

the mothering muscle

It's been two months since I've posted anything, and I can't believe the time has gone by so fast.

Baby Keira was born on January 18. She was born at 36 weeks which is a whole month early. I had the intention of posting a birth story, but maybe because it was such an exhausting ordeal that I haven't. I will say though, that it wasn't the labor and delivery that was the hardest for me, it was the fact that she had to stay in the NICU for about a week. Fortunately, everything turned out okay and she has no serious long term health effects that we need to worry about. She just needed that extra week in the NICU to mature. She's home, safe and sound.

introducing *Keira Isela* - here she was at about 5 days old

recent pinterest finds

I try not to spend too much time on the site, because I will never get anything done. But here are a few of my most recent finds on Pinterest that have me motivated for inspired to do things and try new things.

 Here is a super easy DIY Baby Blanket tutorial.

 Baked Parmesan Garlic Chicken - 4 ingredient recipe.

 I have a dream of turning Emme's old room into half nursery/half crafting room for myself. Here is a nice one.

 I thought this really cool DIY project would give me something to do with the glass jars I've been hoarding.

 Tell me this Guacamole Grilled Cheese Sandwich isn't making you drool.

Some Valentine's Day Inspiration for the upcoming holiday. I know Luci will be expecting something fun.

That's it for now. I've got a lot to prepare this weekend because I know the baby isn't going to stay put for much longer. I will have a new baby in 3 weeks or less!!!!! Have a great weekend. 

pregnancy update: week 35

I'm supposed to be laying down right now, but here I am at the computer.

On Wednesday I went in to labor and delivery at the hospital because I had been having contractions since about 4am. These were far more painful than the ones I had previously complained about. I thought it was go time! After waiting around for about five hours, I finally decided to go in. They weren't necessarily getting stronger or closer together, but my Dr. thought it would be a good idea, so off I went. They hooked me up to the monitors and did a cervical check. I was only 1cm dilated and about 80% effaced. These contractions weren't doing much though, and they had decreased in frequency and intensity quite a bit since the morning. I could still feel them though. The nurse said I had an "irritable uterus" and could be in the beginning stages of labor, so the Dr. wanted me to to take the terbutaline shots again. Again! I just didn't want to. I hate to go against what my Dr. says, but sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and trust your body. I have had 3 children, and been through 3 labors so I feel like I know my body pretty well when it comes to this. At this stage, I knew my body was gearing down, and things weren't progressing. So, I basically said I didn't want the shot. She said she would just call my Dr. and let him know. So she came back and said that as long as I rested and drank lots of water, I could go home without the shot. I just didn't see any point in stopping these weak contractions that weren't doing anything. If my uterus was irritable, I would calm it down by staying off my feet and not getting worked up about anything (like my crazy kids who have been driving me up the walls the last few days). I still had some contractions the last few days, but its mostly when I get up and do things. Yesterday I had the chance to relax all day, but getting up to make dinner and clean a little did actually set them off. So, I can totally feel this irritable uterus thing at work. I'm trying to stay off my feet as much as possible, and I am trying to stay calm. I will be 36 weeks on Wednesday, so my Dr wants me to hold her in a little bit longer if I can. I have an appointment on Monday with him, so we can check her position and we can discuss this in further detail. I will update then!

I have been neglecting this blog and haven't even cracked into the new one I made. I have been battling in my mind over what I want to do with them. Do I want to combine them? Focus only on the personal one for now, or go ahead with my original plan of separating content? It all comes down to time, for now. I'm just focusing on getting things ready for the baby and keeping myself healthy until its time. So, don't count me out just yet!

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

pregnancy update: week 34

Let's get right to it. Same format as previous weeks, this is gathered information from 3 top pregnancy information sites for the 34th week of pregnancy.

new year

I hope everyone had a great Christmas holiday and a happy new year. I did. I was very busy and am still recovering from all the redecorating and finding places for the new things my kids got. They got so many gifts from everyone and now we are trying to fit it all in.

As far as blogging goes, I'm jumping back on track this week, as soon as I get some time. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and I'll be doing my weekly pregnancy update tomorrow because I'm 34 weeks now. 

Until then, check out the face of my new blog. I am probably going to change the name, but I'm excited because this will be a more personal blog where I write and share things that are important to me. This blog is important, but I see it more of an educational and dare I say, commerical, project of mine. Some people are just interested in information, not so much in getting to know me, so my new blog will be for friends and family who want to follow along more closely with my family and I.

Check it out: http://rebeccaetc.blogspot.com