learning at home

I found myself in a discussion the other day about whether or not I was planning on putting my (almost) 3-year-old in preschool any time soon. Eek. I have thought about it before, when someone asked if I considered using some kind of drop in care for errands or appointments I had, and I said no. Now, thinking about "preschool" in the terms of starting a somewhat formal education routine seems a little more serious.

I'm scared to take her. There, that is one reason I don't plan on it, right there. I am scared of my little angel being any kind of victim. I can't imagine getting a call or finding out that she had been hit, bitten or bullied by some child. I mean, I don't expect her to live in a bubble. She plays a lot with my two nephews who are the same age as her, and they all take their turns fighting over toys, being too rough, and just being the crazy little kids they all are. But, those are our family members. We know their parents are nearby, and I can easily step in and offer the loving correction they would offer my child in the same situation. But a stranger's kid? I know I am not the only one who feels that way. Will this person discipline their child? Will they even find out their child did something to mine? Besides that, I just don't know what kind of kids she will be around. At the preschool age, there are some kids out there who just plain misbehave. Of course I don't hold it against a kid, but I don't want my impressionable little baby to pick up any habits, new words I might not like, and I don't want her to develop her own way of expressing herself based off of the impressions of a child I do not know. I know my nephews, and my friend's kids, and I get to watch and see how she learns in social situations, and teach her what is appropriate and what isn't even if I can't control what my family or friend's children do. I'm there. Or another adult I know is.

Why does she need preschool when her mother is at home to teach her? What can a preschool teacher teach her that I can't? People argue that socialization of children is important and that the main place it happens is in the school system. I have heard this same argument again and again when talking about my wish to eventually homeschool my children. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. How does sticking my child in a room with a bunch of other kids, fighting for personal attention, competing for academic success, navigating their way through all the other morals, lessons and oftentimes sheer GARBAGE that other children bring from their families, all into one place, equal socialization? I think the best way to view socialization is in terms of teaching them to function in a healthy way, out in the world. There are many places and ways to do this. Teaching citizenship isn't exclusive to the school yard or the classroom, and it certainly doesn't require the leadership of a teacher, however qualified to teach academic fundamentals, to take responsibility for such an important part of my child's personal development.

My bottom line: I simply do not feel right in my heart about having any of my children leading themselves through the complicated world out there, at least while they are so young. A 7-year-old, my 7-year-old, is young, impressionable beyond measure, and her innocence is being whittled away by things I cannot control, which I understand will be the case sometimes. But with her out there, alone, without me even trailing a few steps behind while she explores the world for herself, she will encounter things that will shape her views and I may not even know about them. That is terrifying to me. Really, I could cry. Just seeing some of the things my 7-year-old has gone through in these first few years of school has taken a toll on me, and her.

So while some people might raise their eyebrows at the controlling mother, or flip their hair at the foolish idealist, I say, these are my kids. I'm not putting them in danger, I'm not crippling them. I think about every decision for them, and while I always listen to feedback from valued sources, I, ultimately, know what works best for my kids and my family.

Just look at these faces!

best shoes for children

My good friend Maurina asked me a question:

"I need help with buying shoes! I know my daughter is barely learning to walk and they say barefoot is best, but at her daycare she HAS to wear shoes everyday. Now, with this being my first [child] I am all about the best and newest of everything, reading all the books, articles, etc. I just have yet to come across something telling me if it's really necessary for my daughter to wear the $40 pairs of shoes that she's going to outgrow in a month or so and that are approved by the American Pediatric Association. I mean, how much harm could it do to sneak in a Target pair every now and then?"

This is my answer:

That's a GREAT question, Maurina. First off, I'll start by saying that I am infamous among a couple of my girlfriends for never putting shoes on my girls, as infants. Even when they have super-cute outfits, I usually opt for just socks because, well, I hate putting them on again every five minutes after they kick them off! Besides, I lose so many socks and baby shoes are just about the same size, so you can imagine how many loose shoes I also have around this place. Also, my mom taught me early on that feet shouldn't be constricted and should have ample room for proper development. I carry this on into toddler-hood as well. Unless I know my early walker is actually going to be on the ground somewhere walking, I don't put shoes on her. So, trips to the store, to pick up sister and little things like that, she stays barefoot (or socks if its cold).

Enough about me. Onto the experts! To get the best insight, I would look to the American Podiatric (rather than Pediatric) Medical Association. They know all things feet. What I learned from doing a little research is first, just how important good foot care for children (babies, toddlers and older ones) is. They say that the first few years are the most critical stages of development for little feet (or feetsies as we call them in my house). They also say that for young walkers of any age, shoes are unnecessary indoors. Allowing your child to walk barefoot as much as possible encourages the healthy development of their feet. Foot musculature, strength and grasping actions of toes are important, according to their recommendations. As far as rate of foot growth, do not be surprised if you need to go up a size every 2-3 months. For proper fit, you should be able to push down and have a thumb sized space between toe and edge of shoe. Make sure you choose the proper width as well. If you take your child's shoes off and notice red marks, the shoes may not fit properly.

So, to get to your situation. Since she is a new walker, but required to wear shoes at daycare, your best bet is to look for a shoe that is lightweight, flexible and made of natural materials. This is their recommendation for proper foot care. Now, do you have to spend $40? Hopefully not! But I have to admit, I do. For shoes that I know my kids are going to wear on a daily basis, I totally splurge on Stride Rite shoes. It is what my mom did for me, and what I do for them. Although, Luciana, at the fashion-conscious age of 7, prefers style over foot health. So, I try to sneak in a good pair for her, every now and then. Will a Target pair hurt every now and then? No, I don't think anyone would say they do, as long as they fit and protect properly. But again, for consistent day use, your daughter's rapidly growing foot is best served in a shoe designed with quality in mind. Besides, you might as well indulge her possible life-long expensive shoe habit now while you still get to pick the style. I can only imagine the "shoes of the future" that our daughters will opt to wear. Glow in the dark lace-up Twinkle Toe Boots, anyone?

Baby Feet

If anyone has anything to add about their own kids shoe philosophy, please feel free!

Also, here is a link to the American Podiatric Medical Assocation's website where they list approved brands of shoes. You might be able to do some hunting to find sales? I would recommend always trying on the shoes before you buy though, so look for some local stores that carry the brands you're looking for! Good luck!

raising readers

I don't have to start this post convincing everyone of how important reading is, right? We all know that reading and writing are two skills that should never be undervalued. For success in business, you need to be able to communicate, professionally, to all sorts of audiences. Boring, boring, boring, I know. But it is true! You know it is. Raising readers is not as hard as it seems. Sure, you might think some people are just born with a reading gene and others just aren't. I don't think that's the case, though. Yeah, you might get lucky and your child might find their own way into the world of reading, with or without your help, but there are some things you can do to raise your very own reader. You don't have to look far to research and find out why and how much better readers do in school. Which brings me to a cool story.

On Wednesday, it was $3 Admission Day into the Kern County Fair. Overpriced, I know.  Anyway, the event that day drew lots and lots of people. In the early evening hours, around 6 or 7pm, there was a 20 minute line just to buy your ticket! Felt like the ghetto Disneyland. Some people kept looking at the little girl sitting on the curb, quietly reading her book. A few even pointed. Every now and then she would pick up her little head from the book and ask her mother a question, then proceed to read again. At the fair? With all the commotion and tomfoolery? I think it was pretty cool. Especially, because it was my daughter! I wasn't surprised. She reads everywhere. In the car, in her room, during recess sometimes, in class (at the wrong time), outside and anywhere else she feels the desire. Kind of reminds me of me. I remember getting in trouble because I hid a book on my lap during teaching time in class, on more than one occasion. So, how did I raise such a fervent reader?

My ideas will probably sound like tried-and-true familiar methods but that is because they work! Trust me on this one. I have two girls who adore books and another, at the tender age of 1, who is already crawling in bed with big sister and taking part in story time. She is even starting to sit through her own stories for a little bit longer at a time.

So, these are the tips:

• Early exposure - Keep books around from day 1. Even tiny babies respond to the sound of your voice. Your baby is never too young to be engaged in hearing you read something, even if it is just for a few moments. You are exposing them to language, the basis of all reading.
• Consistency - Read to your child every single day. Or at least almost every day. In our house, we can't get away with a day without reading unless there is some special circumstance that prohibits it, such as vacation, kids fall asleep before bedtime routine, or they fall asleep on the way home from somewhere late and night in the car. Even with the last circumstance, Emme often wakes up and asks for some kind of story. If it is just really too late, we hand her one of her picture books and tell her she can "read" to herself while she falls asleep. Other than those things, we read to our kids (or they read to themselves) every day. Emme is "spoiled" by also getting a story at EVERY nap, and she takes a nap every day.
• Keep it fresh - Always try to offer new books or reading materials. Books can be found extremely cheap at second-hand stores, Wal Mart, on clearance shelves, yard sales, online, or even those scholastic book sales through your child's school. Not to mention, the library is FREE. Unless, you are like me and always end up paying late fees. Also, for older kids who can read solo, try subscribing to National Geographic or another interesting magazine that will hold their attention. I remember my dad subscribing me to Nickelodeon and Disney magazine and I loved getting new issues in the mail. Oh, and let's not forget my obsession with MAD magazine when I got a little older for the other two. Let them explore the various genres. If they like Art, buy them a book with lots of pictures about Art. If they like video games and are more visual, try graphic novels, I love those myself!
• Make it Accessible -  Keep books down on the ground for everyone to reach. We keep the floor level stash limited to contain messes, but we switch them out every now and then.
• Model it - Try to let your kids see you reading (even if it is just your trashy gossip magazine), or create a family reading time. My girls have witnessed me reading on a regular basis since birth. If you don't have time to read by yourself, still try to read with them so they get the message that it is important.
• Internalize it - Help them understand that books contain ideas that we can talk about and relate to. Ask them questions about what they read and test their comprehension with simple conversation. It will make them think about what they are reading. 

I am sure there are many more details we can get into, but I think these are good basics for raising a reader and getting kids interested in books. 

On an even more personal note, I have to give my mom a huge shout-out for doing these things for my brother and I growing up. I have a terrible memory, but the few I do have from childhood are about crawling into her warm bed and reading Steinbeck and Hemingway at a very young age. I remember library trips and the excitement I always felt getting new books. Also, to my dad, who never denied me the opportunity on a bookstore mini shopping spree in my older childhood years and would even let me buy books by Stephen King and Clive Barker. (He didn't know how scary they were! All he knew is that they kept me reading). Thanks parents!

If anyone has any experiences with getting their kids to love reading, or cool stories to share- COMMENT AWAY! I'd love to hear from you!

 Look at all these books I bought this week for 30 cents each!!